" Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way." Charles Bukowski . A flashback on the year 2009: In December 2008, i checked the scgs website for my new class and my new teachers - 3CO, Miss sie (form teacher) and mrs yogee (co op teacher). My jaw just dropped and i remember calling all my close friends and comparing who our teachers were. I cursed and yelled like hell and i was so super upset that HOH (my previous group of friends whom i loved very very much) had to be seperated. Alex sarah tham and i would be in 3CO and alexis and sandra in 3dy, tanya unfortunately had another phase in her life. Getting into 3CO was this point in my life, where i cried for 3 days after knowing i was in it, and also the point where i realised, after 12 months, that i do not want to be anywhere else.
First day of school, i found out HOH really drifted apart and i was really upset. I hated school and i didn't look forward to anything. I sticked together with alex sarah tham and tanya where we formed a clique called CATS. somehow i was so angry with the other hoh members because they said we would always hang out but things just didn't work out in the end. CATS were really close friends. Picture a hand that lifts you up when you fall? Well, we were pretty much like that. I think my life started to change when i was appointed class rep. I didn't give up on myself that easily anymore. Working with miss sie was really stressful. Occassionally, i would get text messages with duties on them. Not just small duties but serious ones, like planning class activities proposals, parent teacher dialogue session plans etc. With class rep duties, odyssey of the mind competition, choir syf, so much hatred in me, it was really the toughest period of my life. During that period, Alex sarah tham and i were having so many fights... but although there were bad times the good times seemed to pay off more than the bad. I think one of the happiest part of 2009 was when the 3 of us sat down at the khoo audi steps during lit lecture when we were supposed to go through our UBD and we started laughing and coming up with stories like the coconut shell, and the "BA BA....." and we laughed until our stomaches wanted to burst!! I wasn't exactly that close to sarah heah and sherri yet. And my friendship with ashley was very rocky and we grew very far from one another. Silyn and ethel, were of course, always there like they always were but it was through this period that i got to understand alot more about the rest of my classmates in the class. Being class rep i got to know them and help them, and somehow all of the stress seemed to pay off.
I remember there was this time where a girl in my class had some trouble in class. I've never talked to her before. but there was this one afternoon after school when i came back to class to get a few things, and she was alone there doing her work. I went over and asked how she felt being in class and tried my best in giving her advice on her situation. Before i left she smiled and said "Celine...thanks..alot.". And suddenly i felt really good about myself. Before i knew it we became friends.. Then one day miss sie asked me about how i felt about being a prefect.. and i told her "No way, i can never do it" but for some reason i was then asked to go for the interview. I mean, honestly speaking, 7 months ago i hated prefects! However, during this time, i was going through a very depressing phase in my friendship life. My remaining hoh friends were going through a fight. Sarah tham and i weren't exactly talking to alex and tanya, and we had this huge "war" between us. It was through this fight that sarah tham and i became really close. Close, as in really close. We always had funny names and i had alot of fun with her. And we could always talk about anything under the sun. Picture having a bestfriend you could always depend on, yeah that was how it was like. By being close to her, i don't know how or when it was but i became closer and closer to sarah heah sherri ethel and silyn. And soon enough it was the june holidays. June holidays was just this time of the year where i felt as though everything in my life was perfect. I was becoming a better person and i liked the person i was becoming, i had the bestest friend ever, and i was becoming more close to sarah heah (especially you sarah) and the rest. Things with sherri and i were improving and everything just seemed to fall into place. And alex and i met up again at the pulau ubin trip and things weren't as bad as the other time. Rachel natassia silyn and i started bonding really well during choir, we always had the best times there! Sometimes when you have these amazing friends there cca didn't seem so bad after all. I guess the only sad thing i could think of in my life, was miss sie leaving the class. And because i technically "worked" for her i was really upset about it. I thought nobody could ever take her place and be there for the class.
Silyn always tells me that sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. When one door of happiness closes, another opens, just that we take too long to figure out that it's been open for us. When school started again, things went really well. Miss Jo ann lee was our new form teacher and she really cared for the class. i was really happy that she was the one who took over miss sie. Everything just felt right. But i guess in this world you cannot have everything and soon things began to fall apart. I was down for the prefectorial board and i remember miss lee coming to talk to me about it, about my responsibilities. But being a prefect meant that i had to give up what i enjoyed doing most - being a class rep. But someway or another i went for the interview and i was completely honest. I told them how much i hated prefects. Our class started to work really well with miss lee, and we just clicked with her. Things with ashley was getting better and better as well.
There was this one afternoon where i came back from my last lesson and on the white board it said "celine kee to see mrs dora fernandez immediately after school" omg i swear i was so scared. I was thinking back on everything i did in school for the last 3 years. i didn't exactly bully anyone or vandalize or break the major school rules. I don't smoke or club or steal but looking for mrs fern just made me so scared because she always had this look on her face that made her seem like she was going to kill someone. (omg if she reads this i'm so dead) so i went to the staffroom and she came out. So i said "Erm...gooood..afternoon mrs fern...you wanted to...see me?" She wore the murderer expression on her face and in my mind i was like "NOOOOOOO Omg!!! think think, what did you do wrong...shit shit shit!!!" Suddenly, she handed me this letter and said "welcome to the 59th prefectorial board?" i thought i heard wrongly so i said "huh? say again?" and she said "you're a prefect" and for a moment i wanted to choke.
Ashley was so happy she kept shouting and going up to random people saying "eh look! she's a prefect" and i just hid my face. She was like the only person i talk to who was a prefect. I didn't know anyone else. So i joined the prefectorial board, became pretty close to miss lee (on a student-teacher basis) and mrs fern! Knowing mrs fern better made me laugh at the old times because she really isn't that evil. In fact she's one of the nicest teachers i know... I became real close to sarah heah and sherri, but sadly, as i said you can't have everything in life, and things between sarah tham and me started to worsen. There would occassionally be misunderstandings between us. The day before our exams began, there was a really huge misunderstanding and it turned out as the end of everything. That night i remember crying so badly. i couldn't sleep and i couldn't concentrate on studying. I cried myself to sleep. One day later ashley announced that it is confirmed she could no longer be a prefect. Picture losing your close friend, and your only friend in the pb on one day...
After eoys, i began to really hang out with KK. We'd sit together during lectures, recesses, class time. My grades were disgusting and things at home weren't going too well. It was like having a group of people around you that made everything seem okay, just for that moment, no matter how bad life was treating you. Prefects camp made me meet new friends as well, and made me a stronger person. We had camp till 5am in the morning and the next day the sec 3s still had school going on. We went to prata cafe and stayed up the whole night. Though i was dead tired, i guess it really was, pretty cool. All this time, i always had 2 groups of people who were always there - Kickass Kutiez and my choir friends. Oh, and one more person - Beverly! At the back of a card miss sie gave me, it said "In the hopes of reaching the moon, men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet". When i read it, i just decided to be happy with what i had. You know, if i had a choice of course i'd want to have everything, but i guess the thing with life is that it doesn't give you what you want. But it teaches you to appreciate what you have left and the people around you. And to be grateful of what you have. Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. Ashley once told me i don't show the people i care about that i care. And often, these people feel that i don't appreciate them. So, since it's the end of 2009, i want to tell all the people i mentioned here, my other friends whom i may not have a chance to spend this year with, that i'm very very happy that God gave me a chance to get to know all of you.
On the 31st of december, and through the last few months of the year, i started to talk to ruth and ashley alot. We did alot of brave things together and now, when everything's over, i guess not everything about "it" is sad. Because it was through this that i really got to know you ruth, and open up to you ashley. So this is probably a sum up about what happened in 2009. Both the good times and the bad times. Sometimes i look back and laugh at all the silly and fun moments. 7 months ago i hated prefects, but now i am starting to love them more because i understand the way they are. 12 months ago i hated the school to hell, but now i love it and don't even want to think about leaving, 8 months ago, i didn't like Alex but now, everything's back to normal again. 6 months ago i didn't want to let go of my class rep position but now, i'm glad i did because 3CO has found itself a better class rep than i am (Ruth!) 4 months ago i lost someone very important to me, but now i have found a group of people whom i never want to lose. And right now, i find myself with a group of wonderful and amazing friends which i would never ever want to trade for anything else in the world, a school that i'm proud of being a part of, and a person that really learns to appreciate. So happy new year everyone! And, Thank you God for giving me 2009. -------------------------------- TEASER-------------------------- A few months ago i took this picture using sherri's mac:
Today i came across ethel's blog and found this:
What in the world HAHAHA. |